


What You Have To Do And How You Have To Deal With It

by Rushpaw



Category: Warriors - Erin Hunter
Genre: AU, Warriors AU, future med cats are chosen as kits and raised by the current med cat, med cats cant have friends or family ties, pretty much a world where the no kits no mate rule is taken to its logical extreme
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-05
Updated: 2020-05-05
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:34:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24022183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rushpaw/pseuds/Rushpaw
Summary: Medicine cats live a life of solitude. Any close relationships would distract from their role as StarClan's voice to the Clans.But that doesn't mean they don't feel.
Comments: 17
Kudos: 107





	What You Have To Do And How You Have To Deal With It

Cinderpelt went to the nursery in the middle of the night. Yellowfang always told her that the middle of the night was easier- less eyes on the grieving parents, less eyes on you. Plus, mothers sometimes reacted… violently. Sleepy attacks were easier to dodge than fully awake ones. 

_“Why didn’t StarClan send a sign for me?”_ Cinderpelt remembered asking her. 

Yellowfang had grunted. _“You were just born when Spottedleaf died. I didn’t officially become the medicine cat of ThunderClan until one or two moons later. By then you were too old in StarClan’s mind- your eyes were open, you were scurrying around camp. Doesn’t matter how right you were for the role, it was too late.”_

Cinderpelt peeked her head inside. Even on the cool night, the nursery was warm. It’s walls were soft and protecting and the perfect place for a kit to grow up- except, of course, for the kit she was here to see. 

Seemingly sensing her presence, a small brown kit- Shrewkit- sat up. Good. “Go fetch Firestar.” She waved her tail. “Tell him to come quickly, but that no one is hurt.” Shrewkit nodded and raced out of the den. He seemed both awed and terrified that the _medicine cat_ spoke to him. 

A moment later, he returned with a very tired Firestar trailing behind. “Cinderpelt!” Firestar said, eyes brightening as he saw her. “I haven’t seen you in a few days. How are you?”

Cinderpelt guessed Sandstorm would be embarrassed on Firestar’s behalf, if she was awake. The fact that the leader could never get the hang of the respectful aloofness expected when addressing a medicine cat was one of the last remaining vestiges of his kittypet self. Instead of responding, Cinderpelt turned to Shrewkit again. “Take your mother and siblings into the clearing. Don’t come back until I tell you to.” The kit nodded again and puffed out his chest, proud to be in charge of such an important task. 

By the time they had all shuffled out, Sandstorm was rousing. “Firestar,” she muttered blearily. “What’s going-” she cut off as she noticed Cinderpelt. Fear flashed in her green gaze. “Cinderpelt,” she stammered, bowing her head respectfully. 

“Sandstorm.” Cinderpelt nodded her head in acknowledgement. “Firestar.” She paused. The words she needed to speak next were on the tip of her tongue. She’d practiced them over and over all afternoon and all evening, ever since she had received the sign that morning. But standing here, in front of two parents that loved both their kits, it felt almost impossible to choke out what had to be said.

_“Is it hard?”_ Cinderpelt had asked. 

_“It’s one of the hardest things a medicine cat does,”_ Yellowfang had replied. _“It’s StarClan’s blessing that most only have to do it once. And there are tricks, things to do and say and remember that lessen the pain a little.”_ She drew a paw over her ear. _“But I don’t think any cat has ever found it easy.”_

Cinderpelt cleared her throat. “Firestar. Sandstorm.” She repeated herself, mouth dry as ash. “A kit you currently shelter has been claimed by StarClan. Please relinquish her to me without a fight.”

The effect of her statement was immediate. Sandstorm let out a low wail, pulling her kits closer to her, while Firestar looked shocked and almost betrayed. Her heart twisted in her chest. She didn’t say anything for a moment. There was nothing she could say, except the words left to her by seasons upon seasons of tradition.

After what felt like an eternity, Firestar faced her. “Which-” his voice caught. “Which kit is it?”

She hesitated. “The brown tabby,” she answered. 

“Are you sure?” Sandstorm’s claws dug into the moss. “Are you positive? It’s not Shrewkit or Spiderkit?” 

Cinderpelt shook her head. “I’m positive. But she will have a great destiny. Just not as your kit.” With that, she leaned down and touched her nose to Sandstorm’s shoulder. It was a gesture that conveyed too much familiarity for medicine cats normally, but it was allowed in this circumstance. 

Sandstorm seemed slightly comforted. She spread her paws, revealing the barley three day old kit. 

“She’s beautiful,” Firestar whispered, more to himself than anyone else. He leaned against his mate for support, shaking. “She’s beautiful,” he repeated. 

“She is,” Cinderpelt agreed. There was another moment, another pause where no cat spoke. 

“I have to take her now,” Cinderpelt said finally.

“Now?” Sandstorm jumped to her paws. Her eyes glinted with a dangerous panic. 

“Cinderpelt,” Firestar begged. “Please, not now. Just give us one more day. Just one more day with both of them, please.”

The agony on their faces was clear. It seemed as if everything they had- their hopes, their dreams, their plans- all rested on just one more day, and Cinderpelt was tempted to give it to them. 

_“Why do we do it like this?”_ Cinderpelt had demanded. _“If all it does is cause hurt?”_

_“Because,”_ Yellowfang had answered softly. _“It’s the medicine cat way. Everyone of our apprentices must give up their family, their friendships, for the sake of the Clan. In truth, it’s a mercy they’re taken as kits. You know more than any cat how hard it is to give up all those things once they’re already a part of you.”_

“I can’t do that,” Cinderpelt replied. Her heart felt as heavy as stone. It was better this way. If she left now, the Clan would talk, they’d figure it out. They’d all try to get in one last goodbye, or try to comfort Firestar and Sandstorm, ripping the wound open over and over again. And all they would be able to think about all day was how fast the sun moved through the sky, how quickly their child slipped away from them. But… she remembered more than Yellowfang’s lectures. She remembered the experience of becoming a medicine cat after starting life as a warrior. She remembered the dull ache in her belly that came from being without her kin. She remembered the devastated look on Frostfur’s face every time she came in camp. 

She remembered how she wasn’t even allowed to tell her brother she loved him one last time.

“Listen,” she said slowly. “The moon is halfway to it’s peak. I’ll sit outside the nursery, and be back for her at moonhigh. I won’t wait any longer than that.”

Sandstorm looked overwhelmed with emotion, and Firestar’s eyes flashed with gratitude. “Thank you,” they both babbled, as if she had given them the whole world. “Thank you, thank you, thank you.” Their grateful words followed her outside. 

In front of the nursery, Cinderpelt could hear crickets chirp. 

_“Yellowfang?”_ Cinderpelt had asked. _“If we take kits away from their mothers- if we don’t even give them a choice- doesn’t that make us cruel?”_

Yellowfang had been silent for a long time after that. _“Maybe,”_ she said finally. _“But all of life is cruel. The warrior is cruel to the mouse they rip the life from, to the skin of the one who attacks them. But even with all the cruelty, we can’t live any other way."_

_“It’s about balancing the cruelness with kindness. Prey is killed quickly and cleanly. An enemy that’s beaten isn’t clawed any further. We all have to find our own way to live with the things we do. Everyone- warriors and medicine cats alike. We all figure it out in the end.”_

A quiet laugh echoed from inside the den behind her, interrupting her thoughts. A kit- she wasn’t sure which- squeaked. 

Cinderpelt looked up. The sky was full of stars. 

Maybe she’d wait past moonhigh.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading!! I know its been a hot second since I last posted, sorry! Life has been crazy. Anyway, I really love this AU! I have ideas for short one-shot type stories like this in this au if anyone is interested. Also, check out my tumblr @rushpaw for more warriors content.  
> Thank you again!!


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